Chapter 16: What do you like most about your siblings?
Originally written April 5, 2021
I have known my brother Jack and my sister Mary for longer than any other living people on this planet. I was less than one week shy of my second birthday when Jack was born. I was six when Mary came along. They have been such a big part of my life for so long, it’s hard to say what I like best about either of them. It’s almost like asking what I like best about myself.
To be clear, I have two other siblings as well. Eric and Lisa come from my father’s second marriage. They’re both fine people, but, as I mentioned in Chapter 8, I didn’t even meet them until I was about 30 years old, as my father had disappeared from my life when I was very young. I don’t even have any childhood memories of him, much less Eric or Lisa.
So I’m devoting this chapter to Jack and Mary.
Jack, for all practical purposes, has been my best friend for years now. I hang out with him more than anybody, especially during this past year of pandemic.
I admire him for his musical ability. He was in my band (The Ramhorn City Go-Go Squad & Uptight Washtub Band) when we both were in junior high. Though I was frontman, singing lead and writing the original songs we performed, by the time we were in high school, it was obvious that Jack had galaxies more musical talent than I ever would.
I don’t know who turned him on to the music of John Fahey, but Jack listened to his records and imitated the Fahey style of guitar, rooted in American folk music but often dark and meditative. While I fantasized about becoming a famous musician, Jack was far more serious about his musical endeavors.
Though he’s never been able to completely support himself with his music, Jack has been able to carve out a life in which he’s been able to pursue his musical visions.
He uses most of his money to record his music and to travel to strange corners of the world seeking out music and musicians with whom to collaborate. His stomping grounds include Nashville and countries such as Turkey and Uzbekistan.
I never had even heard of Uzbekistan until Jack started going there.
We both have a taste for the weird, in music, in humor. We’ve spent hours writing and recording strange little songs that almost are like private jokes. Jack has dozens of Youtube videos of skunks coming up on his front porch to eat food scraps and to lick a demented looking antique puppet that he’s rubbed with bacon grease or some food product. Hours of entertainment.
You’d probably rather see one of the skunk videos, but instead I’ll treat you to one of my musical collaborations with Jack:
Now for my sister:
Mary also has a nice sense of the weird, though I don’t believe she’s ever made any skunk and puppet videos.
She’s into music too and has great tastes. We both love British folk music and British folk-rock acts like Steeleye Span and Richard Thompson.
And, nearly 50 years later, I still tease Mary about taking her to see David Cassidy live at Tingley Coliseum. Her tastes have improved a lot since then.
And her singing voice is far better than mine and even Jack’s, though she never really pursued a career in music. You can hear her singing background in my song “Child of the Falling Star.”
Mary is a wonderful cook. Both she and Jack cook far better than I ever could. One example: From our Mom, Mary learned how to make Yorkshire pudding as a side dish for roast beef. It’s making me hungry just writing about it.
But the quality I love most about Mary is her perseverance.
She learned the craft of dog grooming — a natural progression from her sincere love of animals, which has been obvious ever since I first saw her share a Popsicle with our cocker spaniel, Daniel when she was maybe two years old.
With her skills as a groomer she’s been able to build a business, Happy Dog Grooming. Like the rest of our immediate family, she doesn’t make a ton of money, (anyone who’s ever run a business in Santa Fe knows that it’s a struggle) but Mary truly loves working with dogs and her customers rave.
When my dog Rocco was alive, I took him there several times — and not just for the family discount.
But what I love most about my sister is her laugh. When something has struck her funny bone, she’ll laugh long, loud and melodiously.
After mom died in 2013, our family started a weird little pre-Thanksgiving tradition of gathering together at what’s now called the Black Mesa Travel Center — the truck stop at San Felipe Pueblo between Santa Fe and Albuquerque — to eat without having to worry about cooking and cleaning up.
We dubbed the annual event “Truckstop Thanksgiving.”
There was no Truckstop Thanksgiving in 2020 because of COVID-19. This year I hope we can revive it. It’s one of the few times Jack, Mary and I are all together.
As we’re getting older, these times are more precious.
Here’s some home movie madness circa 1961, featuring me, Jack and Mary, with a guest appearance by Daniel the Cocker Spaniel, who probably was looking for a popsicle from Mary. Cinematography by Mary Ruth Terrell.
(I don’t remember where the music came from. I think it was something generic that Youtube offered for free when I uploaded.)
And I can’t leave without posting one of Jack’s creepy skunk and puppet videos. Eat your heart out, David Lynch! (The skunk appears at about the 1:09 mark):